I always thought the 'Foot Fetish Guy' was a big joke, something only out of a Sex and the City episode, but I was so wrong! Minding my own business heading home on a District Line train bound for Edgeware Road, I found myself with a vacant seat on my right. The doors opened at the next stop and enter creepy, shuffling 60-something guy with the cliche creepy beard that has been trimmed just a bit too close to look normal. He pauses and gazes at the seat across from me, and then looks at me and the woman on the other side of the vacant seat next to me and then shuffles over sitting between us. So far just another weirdo on the tube, but maybe I was judging a book by its cover, until he looked down at my feet then turned his head to me.
"Wow, those are really nice shoes you're wearing! Are they comfortable?"
My first instinct of repulsion was now credited based on the fact that I had 3-year-old rainbow flip-flops that have been through hell and back across Europe on my feet. They're chipped in at the front, and look rather exhausted, not to mention the stress-induced eczema peeling around my right foot forcing me to stifle surprise and reply, "Yep, they are." My face still forward, trying to be polite, yet short enough in response to hopefully hint that I wasn't interested in starting a conversation.
He doesn't take the hint. "So to get into them, you just slip your foot in?" he exhales.
WTF? Who is this guy? Yes, it is a bleeping flip-flop! What are you supposed to do?
"Yep," my eyes still forward avoiding eye contact.
"Could you show me?" he slithers.
"I'd rather not, [you big creepy weirdo]" I stammer.
By this point he supposes to me that I must work very hard to keep them on when I walk and I must practice a lot. Who is this guy?!?! Now all I'm thinking is how to get away as I still had multiple stops left before mine.
The next stop pulls in and I jam out of the doors, race up to the next carriage and hop on to continue my journey. Safe at last!
I don't know how many people this guy has harrassed subtly on the tube, but he looked the cliche, which made it worse. Which only brings me to the question: Am I the only victim of the District Line Foot-Fetish Guy, or are there others?
